Al Merrick's disease.

WARNING: Al Merrick's disease is spreading fast. The Surgeon General has

determined it is hazardous to the indigenous board making and surfing populations

I was out surfing my local North Orange County break where I surfed for about the

last 35 years. It was going off, due to freaky combination of things, I will not

disclose here.

                   Photo by C2C, representative of No. O.C.



I had a severe allergic reaction and started gagging from all the out of town

guys I've never seen before, jockeying and paddling around me on their Al Merrick

surfboards. I was like, "can you move away from me. And stop paddling around me

on that Al Merrick, I'm having a toxic reaction." I felt like I barely made it

back to the beach.

The disease has already spread to our area, these guys had full-blown Al

Merrick's, and were infecting our lineup. Maybe they think they can disrespect

longtime locals because they paid way too much for their surfboards. But our

local breaks are not included in the price of your Al Merrick. Be careful you do

not catch Al Merrick's, because the costs are astronomical, both in dollars and

respect from your fellow local surfers, and board producers. Furthermore, support

your local shaper, Glasser and base material producers, not some freaking

Corporation.

I was severely disappointed to see a couple locals that had been infected and

come down with full-blown Al Merrick's. I guess they were riding the semi-bro

model, because they were not broing out local board producers.

I walked down the beach when it got a little high tide -funky, and the waves were

going off down there too. It was mostly local guys riding local boards. Since

there was nobody riding boards that are mass produced in China by slave labor, I

was able to recover from my allergic reaction to Al Merrick's, and get a few

waves.

I would like to thank Chiron Stewart at Digital Surf Designs (DSD), MAC glassing,

and Ty at Marko Foam, for the personal touch in making my killer new board. I

promise to continue to heckle on your, and all the other local board producers

behalves.

Hawaii!!!- A View From the Sidelines (is mo bettah than no view at all)!

Last year the editors were off to the islands, and as an unpaid GJ writer that
didn't include me, the C2C.
Vote for them to take me along this year, put me on your prayer list, for strange
miracles.

I used to hit up Kauai every winter thanks to Sknappy (hope your riding you're
hogs, safely bro).

But now all I get is,  A "View From The Sidelines".

Webcasts, stories and photos, still attract my attention to the greatest shown in
surfing, the Triple Crown, including the Pipe Masters (of the universe?)
alongside freesurfs, the swells at Waimea, Rocky Point, Sunset, name any north
shore spot (or don't, if your mind is on an outer island, just think it
silently).

I get the second hand stories, and they conjure up powerful images, thoughts,
emotions that get the (surf)endorphins going.
Dude! island-schmiland, I can take the fun zone auto ferry to Balboa island for
two bucks, it's technically an island in the pacific.
I can go to Catalina Island in about an hour and a half's time.
What's the problem, haole?
The problem is the lifeguard report said the water is streaming out of the
Newport Submarine Canyon, and as cold as 49° times, these last couple winners (
record I've heard is 48).
More importantly, I am a surfer, not a diver, or other ocean sports enthusiast,
(open-ocean basket weaver, comes to mind).
Plus I used to get a little island style every winter, get my ass handed to me
and eek out some of the best waves of my life.

Now I just relive those memories, vicariously through others and other media
formats, just as you are, reading this.

Last winter, I  even found myself asking some of the cool young Newport,
shrackers like Andrew Doheny.
You in the Triple Crown, bro? You going to Hawaii?
The the young shredders, Droid,  both told me they were going over in January-
February.
Bingo! That's when I used to go. The memories flood back, mostly good ones.

They are really stoked to miss an inconsistent December over there, the last few
years.
The last couple of year's La Niña pattern patterns, have had high-pressure set up
further in the middle of the North Pacific, then typical La Niña's.
Droid was lucky last January and February surpassed the low bar set by December
2010, and November 2011.
Statistically the chances are good, since it's been so bad it should be firing up
by the new year, if not by December for the Pipeline Masters.
I told droid last year the obvious, he was stoked, prime season without the
Circus, (including major attractions and the sideshow skips and their audiences
in tow).

This year, some of the potential drama has already been played out with Kelly
Slater "the alligator" already clinching a preposterous 11th world title. But
there's always some drama island side. The most recent side story being Kolohe
Andino's third win in a row on the qualifying tour, clinching him a spot at the
pipeline Masters, and very likely on the championship tour next year.

SIR ROBERT KE11Y SLATER, unofficialy knighted with 11th world title in San Francisco

Shoulda probably surfed early, by 8, it was getting blown out in the OC.
So I'm at home waiting the watching the Rip Curl Pro Search.
http://live.ripcurl.com/index.php?Search2011LiveControl

Rooting for my fantasy surf team and other favorites!

Streaming comments on twitter
https://twitter.com/#!/c2cgeoglobal

Here are today's tweets, some classic gems hidden amongst the tilllings!
Twitter has a limit on the # of characters per tweet so there are many intentional mispellings (and unintentional as well).

very unmprsd boring vanilla tweets other outlets.Contact me to be your hired gun, firing out tweets flare, dare ready to share,

 Ok I'm better than the ASP at math and surf journalism. 12-1=11 World titles for Slater the Gator! Kerr the Kangaroo all smiles after hoppping over Joel the flamingo

since he won 11 twice, doesn't that make it 12 world titles for Slater the Gator, ? That's SIR ROBERT KE11Y SLATER to you commoners out there, Sir C2C  Kangaroo Kerr! that allley opp must be at least a 7

 They the flamingo and the kangaroo, Parko and Kerrzy are on my fnatasy team-C2C

 Sweet! Kangaroo Kerr knows he needs to go airshow in this slop to catch Joel the Flamingo

»

fantasysurfer Fantasy Surfer

by hurley

It looks like @BrettSimpo could be the beneficiary of the @Patrickgud injury in Round 5. That would mean a walk-thru for Simpo.

 Flamingo parkinson has flown to the lead but Kangaroo Kerr is always in the ring to punch back out of combo

Good surfers from Snappa, surf lookin like crappa

 One of the mmost dramatic days in pro surfin winds down, #11, blood hypothermia and tears,

»

aspworldtour ASP World Tour

A Muniz (BRA) 14.60, B Simpson (USA) 12.83, O Wright (AUS) 9.36 Heat 3 Round 4 RC Pro Search SF - LIVE at http://www.aspworldtour.com

Slater the Gator is the Montreal Canadiens of surfing

 asp champ trophy looking very Stanely Cup(ish), as a canadian I'm glad surfing took a little lead from hockey

when competition resumes (most likely tomorrow AM). Stay tuned. Gonna be some great action!!

We got an american MIA, and a couple of aussie animals, a falmingo and a kangaroo in the last heat of the day, as the surf blwn

Alejo the Hawk just flew over Seagull simpson for the lead, bigfoot Wright existence in this heat is still unconfirmed sighting

5 minutes, need 5's to take the lead, title party #2 on deck

What's with that bondage wetsuit Champ? I thought the Wlco the hyena's wetsuits were crazy. Just Kidding
Congrats RKS from C2C

pull the rip cord rip curl, finally one more heat, Gudang hospitalized, Josh " the Kangaroo" Kerr and Joel "the flamingo" Parko

ok I'm back after standinf aside for an avalanche of twitter traffic, commenatary, animal kingdom nicknames (AKN's) by C2C

meanwhile the world watches slater the gator, 7 judges try not to watch slater, "Bigfoot" Wright, Seagull Simpson, Alejo surf

What? Don't run another severly anticimactic heat, pull the rip cord rip curl, enjoy the monumental 11th moment, what u doing?

 Kelly "THE ALLIGATOR",Slater trys to make it through crowd, after crowning barrel can't chair,, SECURE-A-TAY! SECUR-A-TAY!!!!

 Slater wants to go big, to legitimize the over scores, that's how the world is run even the surf world, regrdles congrat GATOR!

ripcurl_usa Rip Curl

Kelly Slater is about to win #11. For reals.

C2C:A lot more synergy to announce champ on weekend, more spectators live, on internet, translates to media, fover the BRATzillians

ripcurl_usa Rip Curl

Kelly Slater is about to clinch #11 in 7 minutes

Still time for the judges to even out the scores, which they do, do folks, as long as the 1 to surf best wins,

 Cobra strikes but strikes out, give slater the gator the crown, rip curl pull the rip cord resume tomorrow better conditions

conspiracy theory, ASP ovecompensating on Slater the Gator's scores, to rid their prematurely ejaculated world title announce

K Perrow (AUS) 10.67, T Knox (USA) 9.94, M Wilkinson (AUS) 9.43 Heat 1 Round 4 RC Pro Search

»

aspworldtour ASP World Tour

Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 13.46 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 10.90 in Heat 12 Round 3 RC Pro Search SF - LIVE at http://www.aspworldtour.com

 Schmoo's Coo(l)!

2
Recrown, don't drown, Brazils frown? ASP announce premature, circus clown!

 penguin Pierrow hints that the competitors want and Rip curl should pull the rip cord and put it on hold for tomorrow

Miguel the octupus put one of these waves in his many armed tentacles but couldn't suction cup and put in his b
eak

 Slater the gator whips his tail around but cant chomp down completely on that wave

Gabriel the Cobra Medina, strikes first like Cobras do!

 se what C2C means, click here http://t.co/gqnoKTyU

after Slaterer the Gator loses this heat this will be another pregnant pause on Gators 11th, ASP admits, u
nlike Beiber my baby

 this heat will be a smoker, onshore, aerilst conditions, predators, a gator, a cobra, and an octopus walk into a bar, er, heat

Animal Kingdom Nicknames (AKN's) by C2C, in honor of Slater's potential world title claiming heat/ Miguel " the Octopus" Pupo

wo wSlater the Gator got Medina "the Cobra", and Pupo, think these young BRATzilians wouldn't like to put the title on hold?

Gudangs in the hosp, Jordy the Giraffe planning 2 go Hawaii, Slater the gator on deck, surf world attention, ASP animal circus!

Man these other outles tweets have zero flavor! Contact me to be your hired gun, firing out tweets flare, dare
ready to share,

Slater the gator, yuckin it up over my tweets with Seagull Simpson!, Well maybe, maybe not!

Slater the Gator up next for the title, ASP hired a mathmitician and fired Jeff Spicoli!

k rd 4 Taylor " the american eagle" Knox, Kierren "the Penguin" Piierrow, and MAtt "the Hyena" Wilkinson

 wow what a heat Gudang, elevates over the Giraffe but at what cost? injury, ratings, sposorship? check back w C2C @ here +blog

1 minute Jordy the giraffe, pick one of the tree tops

so many sub plots right here, Gudanf off to San Fran gen hosp? Jordy the giraffe rubernecking for a good wave, ASP rating 4 gud

 high drama on (kinda) high seas, Gudang down but up on scores, Jordy the giraffe out of combo with big neck air reo

so Gudang can still win, get ankle brace and surf next round? probabl needs to paddle out for ratingpoints no matter what,

 Drama, Gorkin to injured reserve, falling off tour, for Gudaskas?

 these ASP animals and their rodeo's

»

aspworldtour ASP World Tour

Josh Kerr (AUS) 16.44 def. Tiago Pires (PRT) 9.83 in Heat 11 Round 3 Rip Curl Pro Search San Francisco - LIVE via http://www.ASPWorldTour.com

Jordy " the Giraffe" Smith against one of the bros from lows (Gudaskas bros / lower trestles)

Hey diddle diddle, The Kerr Kangaroo ran away from the Tiago the tiger with heat in the middle,

Tiger can' here the score, ASP needs speakers on the sponsor bouys out the back. The boys could listen to the bouys, for scores

Kangaroo Kerr konditions, Tiago the Tiger gatting caged by KK's score,

Tiago runnin up beach like king of the concrete jungle, Kangaroo Kerr punts a backahand roo hop reo, scores tightening up!

Tiago the tiger roars back to life and Kangaroo Kerr hopping along, yes Reggae Ellis powers that rip curls caught sleepin Fri,

Tiago the tiger roars back to life and Kangaroo Kerr hopping along, yes Reggae Ellis, the powers that rip curls caught sleeping, good Fri,

Kangaroo Kerr looking good on 1st two waves while Tiago the Tiger waits, saw similar situation in the coldwater and tiago won

Tiago the tiger vs. Kangaroo Kerr, go KK your on my Fantasy team, also have teamamtes already in round 4, Slater the Gator + more

Jimmy Fallon - Justin Bieber Sings "(It's Not My) Baby"